thousands of years, we have been killing each other in the name of our
deities—to protect ourselves, to dominate others, and to accumulate
resources. Arab and Jew, Catholic and Protestant, and Serb, Slav, and Croat
continue to slaughter each other. Why? The justifications vary: Each side will
justify its cause with logic such as "An eye for an eye," "God
is on our side," or "We don't want their kind
Despite centuries of
civilization and progress, little has changed, because we have continued to
think, treat others, and do things the same way we always have. Continuing in
our old behaviors and expecting different results is a sign of insanity.
But there is a way
out, which is outlined in this book. It may be so foreign to you that as you
read it, you may need to open your mind, suspend your beliefs, and allow
yourself the opportunity to expand into new realms.
This is necessary
because beliefs are limited to belief structures and then cemented in us as
truths. Yet truths that change or truths that have opposing truths are not
real truths at all; they are not absolute. And unless truth is absolute, it is
only a manifestation of the ego; it is not a reality. Absolute truth does
exist, but at deeper levels.
is a survival mechanism of every
living organism. It helps us to cope with fear
. It is the mechanism that keeps us from running into traffic or walking on
railroad tracks in front of trains. When activated in the body, it triggers
the hypothalamic region and produces adrenaline that activates either fight or
flight mechanisms. Contrary to popular opinion, there is nothing wrong with
ego. The problem occurs when ego is out of balance
, putting the body in a constant frightened state. Rather than the ego being
there to serve us, we exist to serve the ego.
As you read this book,
you may find yourself offended, or even angry. Try to discover the source of
your anger, for anger is resistance to reality, generated from distortions of
truth. The ego creates these distortions to make us think we are separate from
everyone and everything else, a "truth" supported by the five
senses. Our physical senses—smell, hearing, taste, touch, and sight—are
limited. For example, we know that dogs hear beyond our range of hearing and
eagles see beyond our range of sight. If we know that our senses are limited,
we must assume that our perceptions viewed through these senses are limited.
We have other senses that we were born with and learned to deny, thus these
senses were not developed. These senses lie within the spiritual world and are
accessed through pure feeling. Most of us, however, learned to turn off our
feelings, and that is when we got into trouble. We thought that the only way
to work through the world was with our rational minds that are controlled by
our five physical senses.
Thinking that we are
separate allows us to justify violence against others, which creates victims
and perpetrators—what we call victim consciousness. This is
because victims need perpetrators
and perpetrators need victims. One cannot exist without the other.
is in turn used to justify revenge: Victims get even by becoming perpetrators
themselves. They become what they have judged, tried, and convicted. This
condemnation of others and ourselves remains in our psyches, surfacing as
. This cycle goes on and on and will perpetuate itself until something happens
to disrupt it.
This book suggests
returning to the loving selves we were born as, because it is only through
that we can evolve into beings of love. Our biggest block or
challenge is to recognize the truth of reality, the cause or root of our
The Enneagram , as we will introduce it in this book, is an effective tool that, when used properly, will assist us in our way of communicating not only with ourselves but also with others. When we can understand others and ourselves better, we can open ourselves to living a more joyous life with greater consciousness.
It is uncertain where
had its beginning. It is believed that it first started over
two thousand years ago with a group of Eastern mystical practitioners called
Sufis, who used it in what they called the Oral Tradition. The Oral Tradition
was used so that the deepest truths discovered through the Enneagram were
passed along verbally by masters of the technology.
learned the Enneagram in Armenia from the Sufis and brought it
to Russia, where he taught it for many years. From there it made its way to
Chile via Oscar Ichazo
, who further developed it by linking the symbol of the Enneagram
(a nine-pointed star) to the nine passions—the seven deadly
sins plus deceit and fear
. Claudio Naranjo
brought the Enneagram to the United States in the early 1970s.
He is known for linking the Enneagram to psychiatry.
Besides the Enneagram
looking like a nine-pointed star, you will see three parts
representing three divine laws. The circle around the Enneagram represents a
universal Mandela or the unbroken circle, oneness, and unity.
The triangle represents the trinity that is used in many of the
world’s religions. The third
part is the star itself, which (as explained later in the book) shows how,
over time, all the energies of the different points flow into each other.
There are nine basic
personality types called Enneatypes
. No one type is better or worse than another type. The nine types signify
nine basic ways of perceiving the universe. It is like having a camera that
represents the universe. If you took pictures of the same point in space using
nine different lenses, you would see nine different ways of viewing the same
When going through the
(nine personalities of the Enneagram
) it will be a challenge not to see yourself in all of the types. It may be
easy to box yourself into a type before you have looked at all the types.
Therefore, we have included several levels of personality
identification to help you identify or “fine-tune” the mirror. These you
will recognize under the headings of subtypes: Instinctual
and Centers, Hornevian Groups
(based upon the research of Karen Horney), and moving toward
Wings (the Enneatypes on either side of the main type). One type will resonate
most with you.
Each of these types
has three subtypes, thus there are twenty-seven subtypes. In addition to the
subtypes, there are energy flows toward the Wings of each type, which are
adjacent to the main type. For example, an Enneatype Four may move toward
either the Three or the Five, exhibiting traits of those types along with his
is not a system that puts people into boxes and then tries to
define who they are. Rather, it is a system that identifies the boxes we put
ourselves into and explains behavior categorized in those boxes. Since there
are over six billion people on the earth, there are over six billion
personality variations. We will not discuss these 6 billion variations in this
book. Below, we describe each Enneatype in a summary form. Later in the book,
each type is described in detail.
Type Ones feel they have to be good little boys or girls. They know what
is right and wrong and will gladly tell you. Ones live in relative
perfectionism. They are detailed and picky, and may be moralistic and preachy.
Type Twos need to be needed by others. They are always looking for ways to
help other people, even if the others do not want the help. Twos may flatter
to get attention. They can be seductive if that’s what it takes to get to
Type Threes are hard working and achievement-oriented—the classic
“Type A” personality.. They are motivated and competitive. Threes are
image conscious and feel they must look good at whatever they do.
Type Fours are quite artistic and moody. They are the drama kings/queens
of the Enneagram
. Fours like to live life at its highs and lows; every other way is mundane to
them. They want to be seen as special and unique.
Type Fives are disengaged in life and live life in their heads. They seek
knowledge, and to obtain knowledge, Fives are willing to give up the finer
things in life.
Type Sixes are the cynics, the doubters. They question everything and
trust is difficult for them to achieve. Sixes look for security and safety,
and need to be part of groups of belief systems.
Type Sevens are always planning. Fun loving, they are constantly on the go
seeking new experiences. Sevens experience life through superficial lenses,
and do not delve too deeply into anything.
Type Eights are the bad boys/bad girls of the Enneagram
. They are very assertive and get their way through intimidation and power.
Eights look for protection and in doing so, they push their energies outward
to keep their distance from people.
Type Nines need peace and harmony in their lives, and will sacrifice
themselves in order to achieve it. Nines
are easygoing, affable people. They see both sides of the story and can help
others through problems.
It is important to
note that each of us is unique and special. We choose our own fixations and it
does not matter what the fixation is, it is still a fixation. For example,
what difference does it make if we fixate on envy, anger, greed, lust, vanity,
pride, gluttony, fear
, or sloth? It is like choosing the poison that will kill us. The more fixated
we are, the more our natural internal energy flow is blocked. During stressful
times, we tend to fixate towards the outer ring of the Enneagram
and exhibit highly dysfunctional behavior.
If we do not clear the
real cause of the fixation, we may move toward what is called the path of
disintegration. The path of disintegration occurs when the pain is so great
and the defense mechanisms associated with the Enneatype are not working. We
then move backward along the arrows contained in the Enneagram
energy flows. For example, as an Eight fixates on lust and
exhibits passionate behavior like vengeance, he may find that his senses
engaged in the environment become overwhelmed. He may move toward the Five,
where he will withdraw to lick his wounds and plan strategies to exact further
vengeance on his perceived enemies.
As we clear the causes
of the dysfunctional behavior, we fixate less and move back toward the I AM
center of the Enneagram
. At the center, we achieve balance
and natural energy flow. There,
we exhibit virtuous behavior. We feel joyous. We understand profound concepts
, compassion, and purpose. We exhibit more of the virtuous traits of all the
Through choice, we
develop traits of personality. Ego
is developed from personality as a defense mechanism to cope
in the world. Personality, or some say ego, filters (buffers) outer world
stimuli and processes reality in different ways. It is important to note the
difference between personality and ego as used in this book. Ego is a part of
personality. It is our fight or flight mechanism—our survival system—and
is used by our bodies to protect us in times of trauma. The problem is not
with ego per se; it is that ego is out of balance
—it is in charge and making decisions for us. Naturally, the ego should
serve the personality, not the other way around.
When we observe our
behavior and find it dysfunctional, we tend to alter the behavior rather than
seeking its cause. This is a trick of ego that makes us think the behavior is
the problem. We call this fixing the symptom and not embracing its cause.
may help us find the cause of the problem. However, symptoms
may reveal other symptoms and not the real causes. If you were to visit a
dentist with a painful toothache and the dentist gave you a shot of Novocain
and sent you home, he relieved the symptom of the pain temporarily but did not
seek the underlying cause of the pain. It is when the dentist identifies the
cause of the pain and treats it that the pain will disappear forever. It is
when we seek and see the truth in our pain that we will cure it forever.
The ego lies to us and
tells us never to be satisfied with who we are. Instead, it keeps us anxiously
seeking to be better, because our current self is not good enough. This is a
fixed core belief, the belief that we are not good enough to be ourselves
without condition. In truth, we are already the best we can be in the present
moment. It is in the present moment that truth arises. In each moment there
exists universal perfection and purpose. We may not see perfection and purpose
in each moment, but it is not important that we see them. What is important is
that we know they exist.
Using the Enneagram
, we see the lies the ego tells us that identify how we think we are not good
enough in the current moment. Here are examples of what the ego might say for
each of the nine types:
– “When I am perfect, I will be loved, and I will be good
– “When others need me, I will be loved, and I will be
– “When I accomplish all I need to accomplish, I will be
successful and loved, and then I will be good enough.”
– “When I am seen as unique, someone will rescue me; then
I will be loved, and I will be good enough.”
– “When I know enough, then I will be loved, and I will be
– “I will be secure when the world around me is secure;
then I will be loved, and I will be good enough.”
– “When I experience everything, I will be happy and then
I will be loved, and I will be good enough.”
– “When I am strong and in control, I will be loved, and I
will good enough.”
– “When there is peace and harmony, I will be loved, and I
will be good enough.”
It is helpful for us
to remember that we are more than our personalities; we are beyond that. We
are a portion of the divine, the Creator, but we have fallen asleep. Our
essence is spirit, and within that spirit lies our soul. When we become less
identified with our ego, it becomes less important to us. That is when we take
on our real identity, which is our true nature.
The purpose of the
is not to help us get rid of personality. When we get in touch
with our deepest selves, we do not lose our personality. It becomes more
transparent and flexible and helps us live our lives, rather than taking over
our lives. As we become less identified with personality, it becomes a smaller
part of who we are. There is more intelligence, sensitivity, and presence
underlying it that uses the personality as a vehicle rather than being driven
by it. We actually find our identity as we move towards our essence.
This book is organized
into three parts:
Part I: Our
Dysfunctional World, explains our dysfunctional behavior, or rather our
of behavior. How we view love
with conditions and how we think we are separate from
everything, when we are really all connected.
In Chapter One, we
delve into depth explaining the differences between love
. Judgment is a prime concept to understand because when we judge others, we
are judging ourselves. What disturbs us in other people is a mirror of what
most disturbs us in ourselves.
Chapter Two examines
and how it skews our view of reality. We explain in detail how
our perceptions are limited by our five physical senses. Observers view the
world without understanding how they affect what they are observing, but there
can be no observers without the observed. We delve into how each of us
projects our unconscious needs onto the environment and that what is returned
to us is a mirror of what we project.
Chapter Three explains
the process of ego development and how the ego got out of balance
and took control of us. We introduce the Enneagram
and begin to build it into the system used for healing.
Part II: The
: A Tool for Diagnosis, describes the Enneagram and the breakdown of
each personality type—the Enneatypes
. We explore how each Enneatype behaves and the consequences (or cause and
effect) of the choices we make. We will help you find your identity within the
Chapter Four explains
how we lose our balance
and look externally for what we cannot find internally. This
process develops unconscious desires for those things we really have inside
that we believe are not there. We describe the triads of the Enneagram
, Feeling, and Thinking. The Hornevian Groups
, and Withdrawns
) are examined as well.
Chapter Five describes
the importance of energy movement through the Enneagram
and how energy movement promotes health. We identify the
fixations and passions of each Enneatype and how these affect each type. The
and Stress Point
of each Enneatype in introduced and examined. We explain the
Thinking, Feeling, and Doing Centers of each Enneatype and their importance to
Chapters Six through
Fourteen examine each Enneatype in detail. We list specific areas including
basic needs, basic fears, mottos, speech patterns, and projected mirrors.
Part III: Making
Our Way Back, will give us a roadmap back to whom we really are and how we
can achieve this with compassion
describes the nature of communication
and how important communication is to understanding. Each
Enneatype is described by the method used to communicate in the world. This
chapter aids us in identifying Enneatypes
by noticing a person’s speech patterns and demeanor.
examines intimacy and its importance in relating to other people and
ourselves. We describe how each Enneatype creates its own intimacy patterns,
as well as each type’s positive and negative patterns.
introduces the tool called forgiveness. We list the traits necessary to see
beyond our five physical senses to achieve real forgiveness
. We describe what real forgiveness truly means, and how each Enneatype can
achieve real forgiveness rather than pseudo forgiveness. Each of us loses,
gives away, or has taken from us spiritual values that we need to live in
forgiveness. These values are described in this chapter.
provides the next tool toward enlightenment: compassion. Compassion
requires a higher level of understanding than most of us
currently use. We list the truths of compassion
and how each of these truths relates to each Enneatype. Here,
we link those values that were lost, taken, or given away and how they relate
to compassion. Each Enneatype and its compassion truth are described. We show
how we can use compassion for better understanding of other people and
explains what consciousness and enlightenment are and how we can wake up from
our deep sleep to live these gifts. Enlightenment is available to all of us in
every moment. When we wake up to its glory, we achieve it without effort. We
list the traits necessary to awaken and describe the process necessary to live
These techniques are
simple, yet difficult to achieve as long as we cling to fixed core beliefs
that limit our possibilities. Only when we release our beliefs and allow truth
to arise can we journey into ourselves and see ourselves for who we really
are—warm loving beings, each containing gifts endowed to us through the
Justin E. Tomasino Jr., PhD ,
, BCPC, DAPA
Inga W. Tomasino